{weird}gasm

Saturday Night Live’s taking Jay Pharoah’s drag V-card already! In a preview on Access Hollywood for tomorrow’s SNL, they showed a set-up for The View and he was in Sherri’s standard spot.

Why? The dude has 50 almost pitch-perfect impressions and already they’re doing this. SMH! You don’t see them doing this to Bill Hader. Always the minorities!

Update: Thankfully, his part was canned or at least held off for a while.

I wonder what became of the soul-music-loving, walker-bound elderly lady dragging around her blind husband searching for Seal albums.

Okay, who let their abuelita out wearing bright yellow leggings as pants? Those sagging cans are tragedy of gravity! Ay dios mio!

about relaxers. It’s been almost two and a half years since my last one, but I still have some remaining questions on my mind.

• The smell. Right after a relaxer or touch-up, there’s always this pungent smell for days. Do other people smell it as strongly? Does it spread onto other things the hair comes in contact? Does it gross other people out?
• The effect on the environment. If it is reacting the way it does on skin and hair, what does it do when it comes into contact with the water supply and ends up in landfills?
• Impact on health. Do the most common ones contain carcinogens that we are willfully exposing ourselves to? Do some of the ingredients aggravate pre-existing conditions? Are some very racially-specific ailments stemming from their usage? Are there conclusive studies on the physical impact of using relaxers?

I think we’ve all heard this one:

[That child’s mother] ought to be ashamed of herself letting that child leave the house looking like that. Got hair every which way, looking like a little heathen. 

It almost makes my skin crawl to hear grown women make fun of children’s hair with an air faux concern. It’s even worse that there are legitimate news articles from major outlets that either chastise parents or ridicule small children (Zahara Jolie-Pitt, Seal and Heidi Klum’s children, Willow Smith, etc) for their hairstyles. I don’t buy for a second that these people give a damn about the welfare and self-esteem of these children. It’s also ludicrous that people make it their prerogative to judge a mother’s rearing abilities based on the way a child wears their hair.

To refrain from stepping into a large discussion of good and bad hair, I’ll just state that my personal definition of good hair is just hair that is healthy, clean, and detangled not specific to any state (natural, relaxed, or weaved). I think too many mothers still rely on archaic standards of grooming hair. Especially true for African-Americans like myself, some mothers consider it lazy if a mother does not exert a tremendous effort in “taming” hair in restrained hairstyles like pigtails and braids. None considered the negative body image messages they are influencing. The same women indoctrinate into their children this is the way things are supposed to be and whether intentional or not set up the precedent that hair-based ridicule and bullying of other children is perfectly acceptable. Hairstyles are highly individual, so it’s ridiculous to impose a standard on children. They are at a stage in their life where they are suppose to have fun and be free, and not be in a word mini-adults.  

Few of these mothers consider the why-nots. Seeing and experiencing the dark side of hair grooming, I wouldn’t wish it on any small impressionable child. There is in many cases avoidable pain. Pressing and relaxers are two particular methods that have caused me the physical pain of burns. I’ve seen ponytails and braids so tight they raise the scalp and leave bumps. I see hair so broken off, over-processed, and hard that it’s almost unstyleable. Would you blame a parent for saving their children from this avoidable madness? And then you have people out there that love their children but just are not skilled in styling and don’t want to or don’t have the funds to pay someone to maintain a superficial standard. Point blank, children should not have to suffer from a small sect of society’s views on vanity.

I generally hold the principle that if it hath not sprung from thine vageen, thou shalt keep thine judgment to thyself, but it’s obvious that there is a rampant breed of mom feeds off disparaging the methods that other people use raise their kids. Some of the bull that comes out of the mouths of women that role models and examples for little girls disappoints me severely. Ask any mother, raising kids isn’t easy, but seeing faults the way other people do so is. It sucks because oftentimes they do it in front of the kids shaping negative opinions of people and forming a precedent that it’s okay to destroy the character of others in private. Isn’t the most important part of the equation to provide a safe environment, nurturing development, and shaping children into respectable adults? Every child is unique and thus requires a unique upbringing.

how the phuck I ended up reactivating my facebook. There’s this still small voice telling to that not to completely delete it and that I should hold onto it for the small percentage of actual friends that are on there. I think it’s about time I show that voice who’s boss and take it a back alley and shoot it. On the real, communicating with folks was possible before and will continue to be after facebook is dead and gone.

I’m so amazed when dudes who ALWAYS wear fedoras actually have hair underneath.